The Nerve

Some banks and corporations have a lot of nerve. They receive billions of taxpayer dollars, despite past reckless behavior, and what do they do with it? Why, sponsor professional sports teams, of course!

It's amazingly insane. How often do we hear that Americans are spendthrifts? I mean, really. Let's think about this for a moment.

Money from the Failout Package has been handed out like condoms on a college campus to banks, et. al who are supposed to be using the money to help pull the country up by her bootstraps. This money was not given to the "Joe Six Packs" and Sally Dorights. And why not? Oh, because they'd probably spend all of the money on HDTVs to watch reality shows, iPods to listen to Soulja Boy and Britney Spears, or ridiculously gaudy jewelry. They're so wasteful. Don't give them any money.

Instead, let's give this money to banks to help them keep their Manchester United sponsorship. (Manchester United... Hmm... I don't believe that's an American sports team...)

Or how about those poor old American automakers. I mean, for heaven's sake. GM had to end their endorsement deal with Tiger Woods! Tiger freakin' Woods! Oh, I'm sorry. What was that? The CEO still has his corporate jet? Well, he did downsize...

Oh, and poor Citibank. They're so big. And so poor. And so... wasteful? Well, only if considering the sponsorship of the new Mets stadium is wasteful.

Look, people, I am not a gambler. If I don't want to gamble with my money, why would I want the Federal Government to?? They're passing out billions like the money is government cheese! Someone will take the cheese. They will be able to feed their families. Will they share with other families? Maybe. Maybe not. Probably not.

We need to start holding these banks and corporations accountable for their actions. Haven't we seen enough blank checks in the past eight years? I could think of countless ways to spend that bailout money, and sponsoring pro sports teams and owning ridiculously unneccessary luxury items such as JETS (I mean, they're an auto company. Couldn't they just drive places? Oh,right. Their cars are crap.) are not on my list. I mean, who do these people think they are? Sarah Palin?