Yes, we know he's old. REALLY old. But the Burger King?
After winning the GOP nomination, John McCain announced that in a few months, he may very well be the elected Burger King.
Despite the hard work of staffers, someone has yet to clarify to the Antediluvian Arizona Senator that he is in fact running for President. McCain was reported reported saying at a press conference:
"I may not know much of anything about the economy, but I do know that everyone should be able to make their value meal as big as they want without paying 49 cents extra!"
"In the McCain Burger Republic," the senile senator continued, "everyone WILL be able to have it their way!"
Campaign manager Terry Nelson quickly lured the senator off the stage with a cup of apple juice and some chocolate pudding, and could be heard whispering to McCain something about changing his Depends once they get off stage.
"The first step was allowing citizens of the Republic to choose between onion rings and French fries. The next step will be choosing between napkins and those lovely little bibs you get when you eat lobster," McCain shouted before disappearing from sight.
After Strom Thurmond, McCain is the second-oldest man to ever serve in the Senate at 98 years of age.
