This Just In: Sarah Palin Still a C U Next Tuesday

So, after reading this article on AOL, I realized that Sarah Palin is as big of a twat now as ever before...

Catching a 'tude with Tina Fey? Not cool.

Telling someone else that the world doesn't revolve around them? Hypocritical.

Sarah Palin must not like that D-Blag is striving so early in the year for taking the title of 2009's Biggest Douche. She must relinquish her title from last year. She must!

Here is my analysis of this article soaked in all of it's Paliny crapulence.

(Jan. 8) - Sarah Palin is credited with making Tina Fey a world-wide star and
boosting Katie Couric's ratings at CBS.

Sorry... what?! Tina Fey wasn't a star before Palin emerged on the screen like a turd in a swimming pool?? I guess the fact that she was SNL's first female head writer means nothing. She was one of the top ten entertainer's of the year for EW in 2001. Emmy's don't mean anything either, I suppose. Mean Girls? Who ever saw that? I mean, really... 30 Rock? What rubbish...

But in a recent interview with conservative John Ziegler, Palin said both "exploited" her twelve-week candidacy — a fact, she said, that "says a great deal about our society.”

I guess her exploitation of her children, Alaskans, animals (including wolves, polar bears, and turkeys), the environment, John McCain, the Republican Party, women, and any other facet of the American People means absolutely nothing. She was "exploited." Give me a friggin' break. What did she expect, running for the second highest post in all the land?

[photo caption of Palin and 20 members of her ill-named family]In a new interview with a fellow conservative, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin lashed out at actress Tina Fey and news anchor Katie Couric, accusing them of exploiting her and her family. She also suggested the press treated her more harshly due to background. Palin, center, with her family in 2007, has described herself as a "hockey mom" living a typical Alaskan lifestyle.

How many of her kids actually play hockey again? Doesn't she have a kid named Puck? Oh wait, that's Bristol. And I think she named her kid "Fuuuuuck."

Fey's widely-applauded portrayal of the Alaska governor boosted SNL's ratings, while Couric’s audience grew after a series of interviews during which Palin now-famously faltered.

Very true. SNL was getting pretty cruddy. It was basically clinging to Justin Timberlake (my fiance) and Andy Samberg (cute and oddly hilarious) for dear life.

“I did see that Tina Fey was named entertainer of the year and Katie Couric’s ratings have risen," Palin said in the interview. "I know that a lot of people are capitalizing on, oh I don’t know, perhaps some exploiting that was done via me, my family, my administration — that’s a little bit perplexing, but it also says a great deal about our society.”

Seems like the word of the day for the femmebot is "exploit." Does she even know what that means? Wait...her administration? You mean the one that fires people because they just don't like them? And again with the Tina fey hating. Don't hate, Sarahpoleon. It's not a good color on you. *And for the record, it says a great deal about our society that we DIDN'T take you seriously, bruh.

The Alaska governor was particularly upset with an SNL skit during which Fey's version of Palin said, "I believe marriage is meant to be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers."

One of the best lines during the election season, and the truest. Shot gun wedding, anyone?

The line was a clear reference to Palin's 18-year-old daughter Bristol and her fiancé Levi Johnston. The two announced shortly before the GOP convention that they were expecting a baby and had plans to marry.

Emphasis on the word "had."

"The mama grizzly rises up in me, hearing things like that," she said of a skit. "Here again, cool, fine come attack me. But when you make a suggestion like that that attacks a kid, it kills me."

Sarah doesn't like polar bears, but she likes their cousin, the Grizzlies? Also, I wouldn't refer to Bristol as a "kid." She's 18. She's a mom. And sadly she doesn't know that the pull-out method doesn't work.

In the wide-ranging interview, Palin also faulted the McCain campaign for agreeing to a series of sit-downs with Couric after the first one appeared to go so poorly.

For the record, it didn't "appear" to go poorly -- it DID!

“I knew it didn’t go well the first day, and then we gave her a couple of other segments after that," she said. "And my question to the campaign was, after it didn’t go well the first day, why were we going to go back for more…going back for more was not a wise decision either.”

Clearly she's not going to take responsibility for her own ignorance. The McCain people tried to prep you on using big words and smart people phrases, but it didn't work, Sarah. It's not their fault that you can't complete a thought or sentence.

During one of those follow-up interviews, Palin took heat for appearing to be unable to name the newspapers or magazines she reads: "Um of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years," was the Alaska governor's response.

In the interview with Ziegler, Palin called that answer "too flippant" and suggested the question itself offended her.

Offended her because she obviously CAN'T read. DUH.

“To me the question was more along the lines of, ‘Do you read, what do you guys do up there, what is it that you read?’”

Riight...

[photo caption of the amazing, breeding Bristol]Bristol Palin, daughter of former Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin, is now a mom. The 18-year-old gave birth Dec. 27 to a baby boy named Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. The baby's father is Levi Johnston, shown with Bristol on Sept. 3 at the Republican National Convention.

Another poorly named child. Let's break this down for a second. Tripp (after Linda, or after what Bristol told her mom happened when she asked her "how did this happen?"). Easton... wait... she really DID name him after a hockey brand! Mitchell - the name of the guy who is probably the real father of the baby hockey puck. Johnston - to keep up the lie.

"…Katie, you’re not the center of everybody’s universe," Palin added off-handedly.

"That's my job," muttered Palin.

Palin, who has long criticized media coverage of her campaign performance, also said she is interested to see if reporters are equally tough on Caroline Kennedy as she pursues the appointment to the likely-vacant Senate seat in New York.

“I’ve been interested to see how Caroline Kennedy will be handled, and if she will be handled with kid gloves or if she will be under such a microscope,” she said.

“It’s going to be interesting to see how that plays out and I think that as we watch that we will perhaps be able to prove that there is a class issue here, also that was such a factor in the scrutiny of my candidacy versus, say, the scrutiny of what her candidacy may be," she also said.

Clearly, it's not a class issue. It's an intellect issue.