Pope Sippin' on Sizzurp Before St. Patty's Day Celebrations Even Began?

Well, he'd have to have been sippin' on SOMETHING...

Top-O'-The-Mornin' To Ya! The Nazi Pope has struck again! I read this story about the Pope that is just... well, wrong.

Condoms don't work, Pope? Really? I really don't understand many religious conservatives. It's one thing to advocate for something you don't believe in ("artificial contraception" in this case), but it's another thing to just ignore the facts. Hello! It's 2009, Pope. Do you really think people are going to stop having sex just because you said condoms don't work? Of course not! What's worse is that some of the people who listen to you who just happen to be having sex may stop using condoms because the Pope said they don't work. Clearly they're past the point of abstinence. Either that, or maybe they'll just stop listening to you in general. I don't know, but I do know that this story is flat out ridiculous...

Michael Steele Still an Embarrassment to All, Provides Quote of the Week

Question: Are you saying you think women have the right to choose abortion?

Response provided by Future Former RNC Chairman Michael Steele: "Yeah. I mean, again, I think that’s an individual choice."

Congratulations, Michael Steele. You are officially on the RNC Sh-- List! (And continue to be an embarrassment to my beloved state...)

Read more about the ignoramus here!

Better Late Than Never!

Check out this article on The WAPO. Comments later...

This Just In: Sarah Palin Still a C U Next Tuesday

So, after reading this article on AOL, I realized that Sarah Palin is as big of a twat now as ever before...

Catching a 'tude with Tina Fey? Not cool.

Telling someone else that the world doesn't revolve around them? Hypocritical.

Sarah Palin must not like that D-Blag is striving so early in the year for taking the title of 2009's Biggest Douche. She must relinquish her title from last year. She must!

Here is my analysis of this article soaked in all of it's Paliny crapulence.

(Jan. 8) - Sarah Palin is credited with making Tina Fey a world-wide star and
boosting Katie Couric's ratings at CBS.

Sorry... what?! Tina Fey wasn't a star before Palin emerged on the screen like a turd in a swimming pool?? I guess the fact that she was SNL's first female head writer means nothing. She was one of the top ten entertainer's of the year for EW in 2001. Emmy's don't mean anything either, I suppose. Mean Girls? Who ever saw that? I mean, really... 30 Rock? What rubbish...

But in a recent interview with conservative John Ziegler, Palin said both "exploited" her twelve-week candidacy — a fact, she said, that "says a great deal about our society.”

I guess her exploitation of her children, Alaskans, animals (including wolves, polar bears, and turkeys), the environment, John McCain, the Republican Party, women, and any other facet of the American People means absolutely nothing. She was "exploited." Give me a friggin' break. What did she expect, running for the second highest post in all the land?

[photo caption of Palin and 20 members of her ill-named family]In a new interview with a fellow conservative, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin lashed out at actress Tina Fey and news anchor Katie Couric, accusing them of exploiting her and her family. She also suggested the press treated her more harshly due to background. Palin, center, with her family in 2007, has described herself as a "hockey mom" living a typical Alaskan lifestyle.

How many of her kids actually play hockey again? Doesn't she have a kid named Puck? Oh wait, that's Bristol. And I think she named her kid "Fuuuuuck."

Fey's widely-applauded portrayal of the Alaska governor boosted SNL's ratings, while Couric’s audience grew after a series of interviews during which Palin now-famously faltered.

Very true. SNL was getting pretty cruddy. It was basically clinging to Justin Timberlake (my fiance) and Andy Samberg (cute and oddly hilarious) for dear life.

“I did see that Tina Fey was named entertainer of the year and Katie Couric’s ratings have risen," Palin said in the interview. "I know that a lot of people are capitalizing on, oh I don’t know, perhaps some exploiting that was done via me, my family, my administration — that’s a little bit perplexing, but it also says a great deal about our society.”

Seems like the word of the day for the femmebot is "exploit." Does she even know what that means? Wait...her administration? You mean the one that fires people because they just don't like them? And again with the Tina fey hating. Don't hate, Sarahpoleon. It's not a good color on you. *And for the record, it says a great deal about our society that we DIDN'T take you seriously, bruh.

The Alaska governor was particularly upset with an SNL skit during which Fey's version of Palin said, "I believe marriage is meant to be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers."

One of the best lines during the election season, and the truest. Shot gun wedding, anyone?

The line was a clear reference to Palin's 18-year-old daughter Bristol and her fiancé Levi Johnston. The two announced shortly before the GOP convention that they were expecting a baby and had plans to marry.

Emphasis on the word "had."

"The mama grizzly rises up in me, hearing things like that," she said of a skit. "Here again, cool, fine come attack me. But when you make a suggestion like that that attacks a kid, it kills me."

Sarah doesn't like polar bears, but she likes their cousin, the Grizzlies? Also, I wouldn't refer to Bristol as a "kid." She's 18. She's a mom. And sadly she doesn't know that the pull-out method doesn't work.

In the wide-ranging interview, Palin also faulted the McCain campaign for agreeing to a series of sit-downs with Couric after the first one appeared to go so poorly.

For the record, it didn't "appear" to go poorly -- it DID!

“I knew it didn’t go well the first day, and then we gave her a couple of other segments after that," she said. "And my question to the campaign was, after it didn’t go well the first day, why were we going to go back for more…going back for more was not a wise decision either.”

Clearly she's not going to take responsibility for her own ignorance. The McCain people tried to prep you on using big words and smart people phrases, but it didn't work, Sarah. It's not their fault that you can't complete a thought or sentence.

During one of those follow-up interviews, Palin took heat for appearing to be unable to name the newspapers or magazines she reads: "Um of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years," was the Alaska governor's response.

In the interview with Ziegler, Palin called that answer "too flippant" and suggested the question itself offended her.

Offended her because she obviously CAN'T read. DUH.

“To me the question was more along the lines of, ‘Do you read, what do you guys do up there, what is it that you read?’”

Riight...

[photo caption of the amazing, breeding Bristol]Bristol Palin, daughter of former Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin, is now a mom. The 18-year-old gave birth Dec. 27 to a baby boy named Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. The baby's father is Levi Johnston, shown with Bristol on Sept. 3 at the Republican National Convention.

Another poorly named child. Let's break this down for a second. Tripp (after Linda, or after what Bristol told her mom happened when she asked her "how did this happen?"). Easton... wait... she really DID name him after a hockey brand! Mitchell - the name of the guy who is probably the real father of the baby hockey puck. Johnston - to keep up the lie.

"…Katie, you’re not the center of everybody’s universe," Palin added off-handedly.

"That's my job," muttered Palin.

Palin, who has long criticized media coverage of her campaign performance, also said she is interested to see if reporters are equally tough on Caroline Kennedy as she pursues the appointment to the likely-vacant Senate seat in New York.

“I’ve been interested to see how Caroline Kennedy will be handled, and if she will be handled with kid gloves or if she will be under such a microscope,” she said.

“It’s going to be interesting to see how that plays out and I think that as we watch that we will perhaps be able to prove that there is a class issue here, also that was such a factor in the scrutiny of my candidacy versus, say, the scrutiny of what her candidacy may be," she also said.

Clearly, it's not a class issue. It's an intellect issue.

Quote of the Week

"This is a farewell kiss, you dog!"

-Iraqi cameraman Muntadar al-Zaidi while flinging a pair of shoes at Dubya

Oh Hell Yes!

I'm sure you've all heard about the shoe-throwing incident. You know, Bush having the audacity to talk about the "successes" in Iraq while in Baghdad this weekend. Amazing that he was unaware of the motivation of this shoe slinger... I think I can name at least a few reasons why someone would throw their shoes (at the very least) at Ol' Dubya!

This site is absolutely splendiferous.

Here is a new story about it, in case you hadn't heard already.

Of course everyone HAS to see it again:



I think it's funny how Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki tried to protect him...

Planet in Peril: No Laughing Matter

Last night I watched a beautiful, terrifying special on CNN's Anderson Cooper 360° called Planet in Peril: Battle Lines. Below is my take on the show...

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Wow! What an eye-opener! What a wake-up call! I almost felt guilty for laughing for the entire hour before watching The Office and 30 Rock (NBC has the best Thursday night lineup). I remembered when I was done watching the latter that Planet in Peril was supposed to be coming on at 9. I wondered whether I missed it. Much to my pleasure, the show was still on. I'd missed the first hour, but what I watched for the rest of the program left me with tears in my eyes, pain in my heart, and the desire to watch more.

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What I first saw was the segment on shark fins. Sharks are pretty sinister-looking creatures, but one can’t deny the curiosity (and terror) they invoke in humans. I learned about chumming, tourism in South Africa, and some of the policies surrounding this Chinese delicacy.

It was pretty disgusting, actually. They kill thousands and thousands of sharks, most of the bodies seem to be MIA, and all for soup? Sharks are incredible creatures, and are crucial to the oceanic food chain. I understand that this is a part of culture, but there should at least be stronger policies and restrictions on this sort of fishing.

On a lighter note, it was pretty amazing to watch Anderson Cooper go diving with the sharks sans cage! He’s so pale and scrawny, but MAN, he’s got some cojones. Just another reason I love Anderson Cooper! You can check out the photos here.

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I am an animal lover, but I am especially a MAMMAL lover. Most people who know me know that I love monkeys and great apes, but I also love elephants. They truly amaze me. I walked to the National Zoo a couple of weeks ago, and could not stop watching the elephants! I took pictures of them, and stayed at their exhibit for too long (I missed the Great Ape House). While African elephants are the most mesmerizing to me, the Asian elephants are pretty darned cool too (even though the Asian elephants are going to bogart half of the zoo, forcing the zookeepers to get rid of the JUMBO Nile hippo, Happy, in 2009).

With all my studies of elephants since childhood, and my more recent studies of the conflicts in Sudan, I had been completely blind to the issues of animals during war time. Of course I’m worried about the people (which perhaps explains how I missed the animal issue in the first place), but many of the animals impacted during times of war are endangered species, and animals that I would love my future children and grandchildren to experience the beauty of.

Elephants are generally killed for their tusks. As Lisa Ling pointed out last night, these are the largest land animals (HUGE creatures), and yet they are killed only for a small part of their mass. This segment featured shots of elephant carcasses with missing eyes, deteriorating, and trunkless. It was a very grotesque sight, all the while upsetting. One of the saddest points in this segment featured a recently slaughtered baby elephant that didn’t even have tusks! Ling was left speechless.

As was stated by the elephant expert, ivory (from elephant tusks, though also common in those deadly Nile hippos) is a major commodity in the international market. They stated that a pound of ivory could go for about $400. China and, big shocker, the U.S. are the largest importers of ivory. Who is killing the Central African elephants for their ivory? Drum roll please… The same people who are killing thousands of innocent Sudanese and Chadians. So what does that mean? People who are purchasing ivory are more likely than not directly funding these civil wars! The soldiers use the money from their ivory sales to purchase more weapons, thereby killing more Sudanese and more African elephants. And so the cycle continues…

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Another animal that has been greatly impacted by human warfare is the mountain gorilla. http://www.gorillafund.org/ Fortunately, there was some silver lining in this dark cloud. Many Rwandan communities have taken it upon themselves to protect the mountain gorillas. The gorillas have helped bring life to their economy following the genocide of the last decade. Gorillas have brought tons of tourists, which has been a great thing for both the animals and the people. The gorilla population is thriving, and the Rwandan economy has improved.

Unfortunately, this is not the case in the “Democratic” Republic of the Congo. The Congolese have been killing the mountain gorillas, seemingly, just for the hell of it. They use them as trophies, and they also use the mountainous regions where these gorillas dwell, coming into direct violent contact with these amazing creatures.

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I suggest everyone check out Planet in Peril. It's a real eye-opener.